I'm Seme!
by AkatsukiRedCloud
Summary: One-Shot! Whilst arguing between themselves who should rightfully be seme, and who should be uke, Sasori and Deidara get the surprise of their lives. Not a lemon, simply a crack-fic. SasoDei, DeiSaso...And a surprise visitor. Rated T for sexual themes, and language. Please review!


_**Just a quick one-shot I've decided to write. I'm sorry I haven't updated on my other fics in a while, I've just lost a bit of motivation XD Things should be back in order very soon, and a new chapter of Evil Innocence will be included :3**_

**_So I've been thinking about writing this little one-shot for a while...You may be aware that there are a lot of arguments between people, on who is "uke" in Sasori and Deidara's relationship. Of course, we all have different views, I myself, believe that Deidara's uke. I just think it's funnier when Sasori's shorter, hence why I always make Dei point out his lack of height in my fanfics. _**

**_So anyway, I hope you enjoy this...Thing. Including the little "twist" at the end._**

**_Please review!^^_**

Deidara smirked as his fingers danced against the red-head's palms, pushing them on each side of his small form.  
"Danna, I've waited so long for this..." The blonde whispered huskily, leaning his bare forehead against the smaller male's.

Instead of replying, Sasori laced his thin arms around the younger ninja's neck, closing the gap between their lips. Deidara moaned into the kiss, deepening it as every second flowed bye. The next thing the blonde knew, his Danna's fingers were toying with the hem of his pants, attempting to pull them down.  
"Someone doesn't want to be kept waiting, un..." The bomber chanted, teasingly sliding his pants down his slim hips, exposing his heart-pattered underwear.  
"Someone's mummy still shops for them..." The red-head bit back, smirking as he stroked the bulge, currently sticking out of Deidara's embarrassing underwear.  
"They were a gift from Konan..." The younger male mumbled, quickly pulling down Sasori's pants, growing impatient. "Let's just stop talking."

Sasori nodded in reply, trailing light kisses down the blonde's neck, leading to his collar-bone. Within minutes, both males had stripped themselves bare, and were just about ready to begin.  
Sasori moaned slightly, rolling over towards the left-side of the bed, so he was on top.  
Deidara frowned. "What the fuck are you doing, un?"  
"You..." The red-head plainly replied, leaning down to kiss him.

Just as the pair's lips were about to meet, the blonde glared, rolling over, so he was on top.  
"Oh hell no. I'm topping."  
"Brat, It only makes sense if I top."

Sasori blinked a few times, rolling again, so he was on top.  
"But I'm taller than you, and I weigh more, un!" Deidara cried, repeating his previous actions, so he was on top.  
"But I'm more in charge." The red-head growled, flipping them again.  
"But my voice is deeper." The blonde scowled, topping.  
"But you call me Danna." Sasori smirked, rolling.

Deidara glared at the red-head, deciding that the last thing he wanted to do was give in.

"Your face is more feminine." The blonde smiled, flipping them over again.  
"Your hair's longer." Sasori stated, flicking the boy's hair lightly, whilst topping him.  
The younger male flipped the pair again. "Your eyelashes are longer." Deidara mused, successfully plucking a single lash from the red-head's eyelid, Indeed, it was much longer.  
"You get mistaken for a girl."

_Flip._

"You get mistaken for a child, un."

_Flip._

"You wear more make-up."

_Flip._

"You call your Grandmother, 'Granny'."

_Flip. _

"You use 4 types of sham-

The red-head was interrupted by the door slamming open, leaving the blonde on top. Thankfully, the pair were covered by a large duvet. Un-thankfully, the person who had opened the door, was a complete psycho.  
"Boys, boys~" The voice mused, entering the room, and closing the door. The blonde and the red-head jumped at the sudden voice, quickly snapping their heads towards the figure.

There stood, in the middle of the room, was Tobi. Except, he didn't seem like normal Tobi. Sure, he had his mask; But that was about it. Instead of his usual turtle-neck shirt and trousers, all the masked-ninja wore were a pair of tiny, leopard-print briefs.

"T-Tobi, What the fuck, un?" The blonde bellowed, glaring at the man.  
"Get the hell out!" Sasori added, also glaring.

Instead of leaving, or even dancing around, like Tobi usually would, the man chuckled darkly, approaching the couple.  
"But boys..." He began, now about a meter away from the bed. "You're fighting about who's on top...Surely there's room for...Compromising...".

Sasori and Deidara both paled, looking at the man in utter-shock.

Tobi chuckled as he crawled onto the bed, slipping underneath the duvet, sliding in next to the pair.

_**'Da hell did I just write!? **_

_**A threesome between Sassy, Dei-Dei, and Tobi? Seems so. **_

**_Oh, well. Yay for crack, I guess. _**

**_Please review! :D_**


End file.
